Read here: https://picasaweb.google.com/Akhan07/MultipleChoiceMarriage?authuser=0&feat=directlink
Asalamu Alaikum Everyone!Finally a comic, right? Not only that, but a comic on everyone's favorite subject... marriage!
Alhamdulillah, I was fortunate to get married this summer. I knew who I wanted to marry for a while, so waiting was difficult, but it made me realize the importance of the process of getting married. Many of us living in the west, or even Muslim countries are in a situation where the requirements for marriage are making us wait longer, while the culture around us and our natural inclination tempts us to have relationships early. Not only that, we have no clue how we should go about getting married. Should we do it the western way by dating before marriage, or the way of many of our parents where it would be arranged, or something in between?
There are many legitimate ways to approach the process of marriage, but what is important is that it is in a way that is pleasing to Allah. This is so important, because we want Allah to bless our relationship with our spouses and in the long run, our children. Don't you think that if we make an extra effort for a few months or years to refrain from impermissible relationships, that Allah will give us something better? I know it feels hard to do this when you are already in love with the person you want to marry, and we may make mistakes along the way, but remember that Allah rewards us for our struggles and makes it a means for our sins to be forgiven.
If I were to give any advice on this, especially for younger people, it would be to set mutual expectations and to have your parents involved as soon as possible. What I mean by mutual expectations is that both you and your potential spouse should decide on when and how you realistically plan on getting married, what are the restrictions of your interactions in the mean time and your expectations after marriage. It may be a good idea to consult an imam or knowledgeable person on how to interact with your potential spouse according to the standards Allah set, especially if your situation is unusual. If you are younger, maybe still in college or graduate school, you may want to consider having the nikka (marriage contract) done, while living apart until you can financially support her.
The reason why you should have your parents involved as soon as possible is because it gives your relationship more legitimacy and because you want their approval. You want to have their input on when and how you two can marry and depending on your situation, it may take some time to convince your parents to allow you to get married the way you want and with the person you want. Remember, your parents love you and want the best for you, so always speak to them respectfully about them and try to understand their perspective.
